( optimistic, finn. she couldn't survive on jakku for as long as she did without holding out hope for a better tomorrow, or at least a better one than today.
and then he takes her hand, and some part of her stomach flutters -- is it something she ate? she hopes she's not getting sick. that would be terrible. but even then she can't help the smile that breaks out over her face. )
That would be-- ( great. it would be amazing. her earnest, eager face betrays how much she wants that. but he's finn. he's with the resistance. she can't take him away from that. her face falls, even as she clutches his hand tighter in her's. ) But we can't. You have to help the Resistance, Finn. I can't-- you can't leave them for me.
( even if she wants to, even if nothing else sounds as appealing as running away with finn to find her family. )
[ for a sweet moment, he looked at her face and forgot that there was a giant lie lying between then and that if he just squeezed her hand back - which he did - that everything would be fine. they would truly, for the first time, have a life that is their own.
then it disappears with her smile and he feels like the wind is forced out of his lungs. the Resistance, of course. his face feels warm and he inhales again. ]
Right. But I could. I could! I could leave it, if you want to go find your family. We'll get BB-8 to the Resistance base, that I know about. The one that I talked about, you remember that right?
[ a nervous chuckle is masked as an optimistic one, and he squeezes her hand because the future is so damn bright when his hand is in hers. ]
( oh, she wants to -- something in her soars when he says then we'll go. finn is the only person in the universe who has ever made her feel cared about. she cherishes that, it means more than she has the words for.
but )
I couldn't do that. I can't take you away. ( he surely belongs there, the big deal of the resistance. and it's selfish of her to want to make him leave, to go with her. she wants nothing more; with finn by her side, rey is certain that everything would be better. but she can't.
and it hurts. )
I want you to come with me. But the Resistance is doing good work. You're doing the right thing. It just---
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and then he takes her hand, and some part of her stomach flutters -- is it something she ate? she hopes she's not getting sick. that would be terrible. but even then she can't help the smile that breaks out over her face. )
That would be-- ( great. it would be amazing. her earnest, eager face betrays how much she wants that. but he's finn. he's with the resistance. she can't take him away from that. her face falls, even as she clutches his hand tighter in her's. ) But we can't. You have to help the Resistance, Finn. I can't-- you can't leave them for me.
( even if she wants to, even if nothing else sounds as appealing as running away with finn to find her family. )
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then it disappears with her smile and he feels like the wind is forced out of his lungs. the Resistance, of course. his face feels warm and he inhales again. ]
Right. But I could. I could! I could leave it, if you want to go find your family. We'll get BB-8 to the Resistance base, that I know about. The one that I talked about, you remember that right?
[ a nervous chuckle is masked as an optimistic one, and he squeezes her hand because the future is so damn bright when his hand is in hers. ]
Then we'll go!
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but )
I couldn't do that. I can't take you away. ( he surely belongs there, the big deal of the resistance. and it's selfish of her to want to make him leave, to go with her. she wants nothing more; with finn by her side, rey is certain that everything would be better. but she can't.
and it hurts. )
I want you to come with me. But the Resistance is doing good work. You're doing the right thing. It just---
( it wouldn't be right. )