[Yeah, she can imagine. This isn’t exactly how she would’ve liked to come back into Boba’s life, reappearing from the dead one year after he’d been abandoned on Geonosis, but the galaxy rarely yields to anyone’s wishes.
She’s quiet for a moment, wondering how to approach this. Of course she’s thought about how she would explain her disappearance to Boba once she'd found him, but actually explaining it face-to-face… Well, it’s easier said than done.]
[ He frowns, thinking of the best way to go about this. He's used to honesty with Zam, but can he be so honest to someone who would -- should have a grudge against his father? Taking Boba now, it would easily be a way of revenge. But hope is a dangerous thing and Boba has that in Zam, the moment she jumped through the window unceremoniously. ]
He said you were gone. That's about it.
[ He sniffs then spits out, dislodging the sad and bitter tones in there. ] I know that's part of the job.
[Zam nods. Seems Jango had been as tight-lipped as ever when telling Boba what had happened. Should she be thankful for that? Zam’s not sure. It does place a very difficult decision squarely on her shoulders: does she tell Boba the truth?
The thought is appealing for the same reason that it’s repellent: it’s a chance to pull away the heroic facade that was -- is Boba’s image of his father. To have some small measure of revenge by having her own story replace his in his son’s memory: that the brave and steadfast Jango Fett had tried (and failed) to execute his wounded friend and fled the scene rather than face his true enemies. That he had left Coruscant a coward and a traitor.
But who would she be hurting then? Jango? Or his son? She sighs.] Things were… complicated. Jedi got involved. Jango… [’Go on. Say it.’ That he had seen her pinned by those two Jedi and judged that she was the one who had to die. That it would be quicker and easier, and that had meant more than the decade they had known each other. That it hadn’t been a murder of necessity or honor, but of convenience.] ...He thought I was dead. And I wasn’t really in a position to disprove that.
[’Coward,’ part of her hisses, but she ignores it. Maybe one day she’ll tell Boba the whole story. But not today. He’s been through enough already.]
I couldn’t go back to Kamino. And I couldn’t let Jango -- or you -- know that I was still alive. [And now that she’s made up her mind, she can’t actually tell him why. She stares at the stars, wondering if she’s made the right choice.]
[ A part of him feels betrayed, but the bounty hunter that Jango trained him to be knew that there's no reason to be angry and feel betrayed about this. Zam did the right thing. She did it and it saved her own skin, and now his. This is about survival and Zam certainly had a grip on that. Jango might not have done the same thing, but he knew his dad would have done worst for the sake of honor.
He nodded stiffly, his eyes downcast for a long moment. The irrational part of him, that part he's trying to bite down is a little boy who thought of what ifs - what if Zam came back, would his dad survive Geonosis? If Zam was there, could she have saved him from the Jedi?
He coughs and sniffles, wiping his nose with a sleeve. He doesn't cry. He never did, not even when he held Jango's head in his hands. He's not going to start now. ]
You don't have to be. My father was no match for the Jedi. If you came back for us [ For me? ], you would have died on Geonosis too. It was a good move.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
no subject
She’s quiet for a moment, wondering how to approach this. Of course she’s thought about how she would explain her disappearance to Boba once she'd found him, but actually explaining it face-to-face… Well, it’s easier said than done.]
Did he tell you what happened?
no subject
He said you were gone. That's about it.
[ He sniffs then spits out, dislodging the sad and bitter tones in there. ] I know that's part of the job.
this got long ;_;
The thought is appealing for the same reason that it’s repellent: it’s a chance to pull away the heroic facade that was -- is Boba’s image of his father. To have some small measure of revenge by having her own story replace his in his son’s memory: that the brave and steadfast Jango Fett had tried (and failed) to execute his wounded friend and fled the scene rather than face his true enemies. That he had left Coruscant a coward and a traitor.
But who would she be hurting then? Jango? Or his son? She sighs.] Things were… complicated. Jedi got involved. Jango… [’Go on. Say it.’ That he had seen her pinned by those two Jedi and judged that she was the one who had to die. That it would be quicker and easier, and that had meant more than the decade they had known each other. That it hadn’t been a murder of necessity or honor, but of convenience.] ...He thought I was dead. And I wasn’t really in a position to disprove that.
[’Coward,’ part of her hisses, but she ignores it. Maybe one day she’ll tell Boba the whole story. But not today. He’s been through enough already.]
I couldn’t go back to Kamino. And I couldn’t let Jango -- or you -- know that I was still alive. [And now that she’s made up her mind, she can’t actually tell him why. She stares at the stars, wondering if she’s made the right choice.]
I’m sorry.
REVIVIES THIS im sry
He nodded stiffly, his eyes downcast for a long moment. The irrational part of him, that part he's trying to bite down is a little boy who thought of what ifs - what if Zam came back, would his dad survive Geonosis? If Zam was there, could she have saved him from the Jedi?
He coughs and sniffles, wiping his nose with a sleeve. He doesn't cry. He never did, not even when he held Jango's head in his hands. He's not going to start now. ]
You don't have to be. My father was no match for the Jedi. If you came back for us [ For me? ], you would have died on Geonosis too. It was a good move.