[ He knows that voice. He could recognize it while being half asleep.
His breath gets caught somewhere in his throat and his chest tightens. He didn't think it would work. Ashoka could have been anywhere in the galaxy, her comm could have been destroyed, thrown away. But she kept it, it and their channel. He held that slight chance of hope close. Anakin had felt the want to talk to her and all of that want latched on to the commlink. He never felt like thanking the Force more than this moment. He lurched forward at her voice then closed his mouth.
What does he say?
Her Master misses her? That he needs her by his side just as much as he needs Obi-Wan and Padme?
What if- No.
There were too many what ifs. He doesn't have time for all those. Always a man of action, Anakin stops thinking and blurts out as fast as he can. ]
Ahsoka! Ahsoka, listen to me. Please don't cut me off.
[He doesn't need to say who it is. Like Anakin, she likewise knows exactly who it is after the first two syllables have left his mouth.
Her heart suddenly feels heavy as the day she left. A small voice in the back of her head thinks that she should be angry with him for not respecting her wishes to be alone for a while. But she can't really bring herself to feel it. Hearing his voice again just reminds her how much she does in fact miss him. Not just him-- the whole package that came along with their relationship. Being on adventures. Saving the galaxy. Having someone dependable, someone you could always rely on to be there for you. Someone to look up to. Not to mention, the adrenaline of the fighting, the flying, the victories. ... But no, those days are gone. She can never get them back. Dwelling on them will do no good at at all.
She recognizes a feeling of trepidation uncurling in her stomach. Part of her reasons, he wouldn't call unless he had a good reason. Maybe he needs her for something. But what if he just wants to talk? ... She can't decide which of the two scenarios is worse. But she picked up the phone knowing there was a high chance it would be him. She isn't going to hang up now. A conversation was bound to happen between them sooner or later-- it's time to stop running from it. Cowardice isn't her style-- better to just rip the band-aid off and do it, now it's here. Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe it won't hurt at all.]
... Anakin. [Not "Master." She forfeited that right.] Relax, I'm not going to cut you off. ... Is something wrong?
[ He remembers how annoyed he was when she had called him 'Master'. Annoyed and a sudden surprise of pride for having reached that level. Being trusted with teaching another young Jedi, it was something he never thought he would need. It took too long for him to miss hearing her call him Master, and too long for him to appreciate having her by his side. ]
No. Nothing's wrong. [ Remorse, joy and fear; he can't pinpoint the one emotion he's feeling right now. He shouldn't have called. He can already hear Obi-Wan chiding him for not being able to just let go.
And he is right, he can't. The Order had failed her, he had failed her, and the one emotion he can connect with in that is anger. Then he remembers this slim chance he is given and it turns into sadness once more. ]
I know I shouldn't have called you. I...just wanted to know if you were still in the sector.
I'm leaving Coruscant either tomorrow or the day after. Once I get my travel plans sorted. [Once she works out where she's going and how to get there.]
[ He smiles, even though she can't see it. Maybe him and Padme can intervene tomorrow, discretely. It's the last thing he could do for her, as her... former Master. ]
Do you know where you're going yet? How are you even going to get there, where ever there is? [ He sighs and rubs his temples. ] Ahsoka, you have to be careful. Until this war is over, a Jedi - even ...a former one - is worth a lot to Dooku and his people.
[ He stops himself before he starts sounding like Obi-Wan. ] Head to a neutral system. Taris, no one important goes there.
[Ahsoka gives a faintly amused exhale that could almost be termed a snort-- but not quite. It's barely audible over the commlink, but she is smiling nonetheless.]
For your information, I was intending to go to a neutral system anyway. Not Taris, though. Is there anything even going on there?
I was thinking... maybe Mandalore. Isn't it about time someone lent them a hand? And it's not like the Republic can do it.
[She delicately doesn't answer the "how" part. Eh. She'll cross that bridge when she comes to it.]
[ He can't help it. She's still younger than him and while there's no doubt of her ability, he worries that she'll head straight for trouble. ]
Mandalore?!
[ And there it is. Ahsoka heading straight for trouble. Anakin scoffs and palms his head for a moment. ]
There's a civil war going on. With Duchess Satine gone, the Republic will be there to handle their affairs until its rebels and this was with the Separatists is over.
There are hundreds of other systems to go to. Mandalore is the last one I would even consider! What about- What about Naboo?
[ Selfish, he knows but damn it to hell. At least Naboo will be safe and it's a few jumps away. ]
Senator Amidala offered a place for you there in her summer home, all you have to do is say yes.
Naboo doesn't need my help. And you know as well as I do that just because I'm not a Jedi anymore, doesn't mean I'm going to just sit on my hands until the war is over.
[ He counters harshly, flaring up in indignation. ]
Mandalore doesn't need your help either! They have the Republic's backing and that's the best help they can get. I know you might not believe that right now-!
[ He sighs. ] Naboo is a good option. You don't have to go now, or ever. But if you ever need a place, the Senator's family is very gracious with what they are willing to offer. Jedi or not.
["I suppose you'd know all about that," Ahsoka thinks, along with "You're not my master anymore," and other such obvious, childish retorts. But she bites her tongue. It's tempting, but-- no. She isn't fourteen anymore. She can't rise to meet his anger. Besides, that's not how she wants this conversation to go. Instead, she takes a deep breath and wills herself to be calm.]
[ He suppose that's the best he could have hoped for. Honestly, he didn't know what he was hoping for when he called this line. And when she picked up, he knew that Ahsoka would have no reason to even listen to him anymore. ]
I know you're capable, Ahsoka, but it doesn't mean you can't get hurt. The Jedi are protected by the Order in ways we take for granted. If you do anything that brings you too much attention... [ He holds his breath, struggling with the next words. ] I won't be by your side anymore. You have to be careful.
[It's not said meanly, though-- more amused than anything else.]
Anakin, I've been surviving on my own outside of the Temple now for months. I mean... I won't lie, the first few weeks were tough. I definitely got swindled a couple of times before I got the hang of things. ... But I'm fine now. Really.
[That is a small white lie-- she isn't sure she'll ever be used to being a civilian. But right now it feels like she's as used to it as she's ever going to get. So. That counts, right?]
[Ugh. It almost slipped out. Old habits die hard.]
... I'm sorry I couldn't give you the reassurance you were looking for.
[Because that's what this call was about, right?
Almost intuitively, for the first time since she left the Temple, she allows herself to reach for him along their bond-- almost just to see if she still can. She half doesn't expect it to work.]
[ He close his eyes and reach for her as well, letting their bond comfort him for a moment. The instant she withdraws he feels her absence tenfold. ]
I wasn't-- [ Who's he kidding. Even if he didn't realize it himself at the time, he called her for exactly this. ] I should be the one giving you reassurances.
[ He thinks about that for a moment. Not leaving the Order for a temporary mission but forever. With Padme and Ahsoka at his side. Another casual daydream of his. Yes, let's continue this casual indulgence. ]
Someone has to watch your left flank. I lost count of the number of times I told you to keep that side tight.
Yeah, about that... you might find my fighting style has changed a bit since you last saw it, on account of the whole... not having my lightsabers anymore... thing.
[ Awkward but mostly conflicted as to just how much help he should be giving Ahsoka, as a Jedi and as her former Master. ]
I'm only a call away. And once this war's over, we can talk more. [ He sounds unsure about that last part. But he won't let the mistake he made with his mother, losing contact with her, happen here. ]
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His breath gets caught somewhere in his throat and his chest tightens. He didn't think it would work. Ashoka could have been anywhere in the galaxy, her comm could have been destroyed, thrown away. But she kept it, it and their channel. He held that slight chance of hope close. Anakin had felt the want to talk to her and all of that want latched on to the commlink. He never felt like thanking the Force more than this moment. He lurched forward at her voice then closed his mouth.
What does he say?
Her Master misses her? That he needs her by his side just as much as he needs Obi-Wan and Padme?
What if- No.
There were too many what ifs. He doesn't have time for all those. Always a man of action, Anakin stops thinking and blurts out as fast as he can. ]
Ahsoka! Ahsoka, listen to me. Please don't cut me off.
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Her heart suddenly feels heavy as the day she left. A small voice in the back of her head thinks that she should be angry with him for not respecting her wishes to be alone for a while. But she can't really bring herself to feel it. Hearing his voice again just reminds her how much she does in fact miss him. Not just him-- the whole package that came along with their relationship. Being on adventures. Saving the galaxy. Having someone dependable, someone you could always rely on to be there for you. Someone to look up to. Not to mention, the adrenaline of the fighting, the flying, the victories. ... But no, those days are gone. She can never get them back. Dwelling on them will do no good at at all.
She recognizes a feeling of trepidation uncurling in her stomach. Part of her reasons, he wouldn't call unless he had a good reason. Maybe he needs her for something. But what if he just wants to talk? ... She can't decide which of the two scenarios is worse. But she picked up the phone knowing there was a high chance it would be him. She isn't going to hang up now. A conversation was bound to happen between them sooner or later-- it's time to stop running from it. Cowardice isn't her style-- better to just rip the band-aid off and do it, now it's here. Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe it won't hurt at all.]
... Anakin. [Not "Master." She forfeited that right.] Relax, I'm not going to cut you off. ... Is something wrong?
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No. Nothing's wrong. [ Remorse, joy and fear; he can't pinpoint the one emotion he's feeling right now. He shouldn't have called. He can already hear Obi-Wan chiding him for not being able to just let go.
And he is right, he can't. The Order had failed her, he had failed her, and the one emotion he can connect with in that is anger. Then he remembers this slim chance he is given and it turns into sadness once more. ]
I know I shouldn't have called you. I...just wanted to know if you were still in the sector.
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I'm leaving Coruscant either tomorrow or the day after. Once I get my travel plans sorted. [Once she works out where she's going and how to get there.]
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Do you know where you're going yet? How are you even going to get there, where ever there is? [ He sighs and rubs his temples. ] Ahsoka, you have to be careful. Until this war is over, a Jedi - even ...a former one - is worth a lot to Dooku and his people.
[ He stops himself before he starts sounding like Obi-Wan. ] Head to a neutral system. Taris, no one important goes there.
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For your information, I was intending to go to a neutral system anyway. Not Taris, though. Is there anything even going on there?
I was thinking... maybe Mandalore. Isn't it about time someone lent them a hand? And it's not like the Republic can do it.
[She delicately doesn't answer the "how" part. Eh. She'll cross that bridge when she comes to it.]
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Mandalore?!
[ And there it is. Ahsoka heading straight for trouble. Anakin scoffs and palms his head for a moment. ]
There's a civil war going on. With Duchess Satine gone, the Republic will be there to handle their affairs until its rebels and this was with the Separatists is over.
There are hundreds of other systems to go to. Mandalore is the last one I would even consider! What about- What about Naboo?
[ Selfish, he knows but damn it to hell. At least Naboo will be safe and it's a few jumps away. ]
Senator Amidala offered a place for you there in her summer home, all you have to do is say yes.
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Naboo doesn't need my help. And you know as well as I do that just because I'm not a Jedi anymore, doesn't mean I'm going to just sit on my hands until the war is over.
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Mandalore doesn't need your help either! They have the Republic's backing and that's the best help they can get. I know you might not believe that right now-!
[ He sighs. ] Naboo is a good option. You don't have to go now, or ever. But if you ever need a place, the Senator's family is very gracious with what they are willing to offer. Jedi or not.
1/2
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... Thank you. For the offer, I mean. I'll... consider it. If things get too bad.
[Read: no way in hell unless it is the actual motherkriffing apocalypse. Thx tho.]
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I know you're capable, Ahsoka, but it doesn't mean you can't get hurt. The Jedi are protected by the Order in ways we take for granted. If you do anything that brings you too much attention... [ He holds his breath, struggling with the next words. ] I won't be by your side anymore. You have to be careful.
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I'll be careful. I promise.
[And then, because she can't resist teasing him:]
I won't do anything you wouldn't do.
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[It's not said meanly, though-- more amused than anything else.]
Anakin, I've been surviving on my own outside of the Temple now for months. I mean... I won't lie, the first few weeks were tough. I definitely got swindled a couple of times before I got the hang of things. ... But I'm fine now. Really.
[That is a small white lie-- she isn't sure she'll ever be used to being a civilian. But right now it feels like she's as used to it as she's ever going to get. So. That counts, right?]
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[ He sighs. Maybe he shouldn't have called. ]
It gets worst the further out the Core you are. Wherever you go, just let me know- Let me know you're out there. Obi-Wan's driving me crazy already.
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[Ugh. It almost slipped out. Old habits die hard.]
... I'm sorry I couldn't give you the reassurance you were looking for.
[Because that's what this call was about, right?
Almost intuitively, for the first time since she left the Temple, she allows herself to reach for him along their bond-- almost just to see if she still can. She half doesn't expect it to work.]
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I wasn't-- [ Who's he kidding. Even if he didn't realize it himself at the time, he called her for exactly this. ] I should be the one giving you reassurances.
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[Then her voice changes again, back to something lighter, more teasing and familiar, because being too serious for too long hurts.]
You could always come with me, if you miss me so much.
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Someone has to watch your left flank. I lost count of the number of times I told you to keep that side tight.
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[ There's an uncomfortable silence that he force himself to fill with: ]
All the more reason someone should watch your back.
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Well... I wouldn't say no to the extra help.
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I'm only a call away. And once this war's over, we can talk more. [ He sounds unsure about that last part. But he won't let the mistake he made with his mother, losing contact with her, happen here. ]
I'll need a break from Obi-Wan's nagging.
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No progress on that front then, I'm guessing.
Did you know it's practically impossible to get un-biased reports down here? It's like the longer the war drags on, the less information we get.
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